Slow and Steady

I have definitely been doing better emotionally because I've been settling in a bit more here. Because I was not having a "honeymoon" phase unlike all the other AFSers who were saying that they had perfect families and all that, I felt really alone. But I had gotten the contact number of another American girl who told me that she was feeling very depressed and sad. Even though it pains me to know that she is so miserable, and the same time, it brings me comfort to know that I am never alone even if I may feel that way.

Some of the Americans are going to get together tomorrow in Bastogne (where the Battle of the Bulge took place), but unfortunately there is no easy way for me to get there. Oh well. I'm sure I'll be able to get together with them another time soon. Last week I had a lot to do because my host parents took off of work, and my host brother hadn't started school yet. We went to the zoo, ran errands, and visited relatives. But now, my host parents have gone back to work, and my host brother had his first day of school today. There's definitely not a lot for me to do this week, but I don't want to be cooped up in the house on the computer. (Alas, it's not like I have that much to do on the computer anyway).  I brought some string with me, so I may try to make some bracelets, and find a hobby to do for the next week, haha.

For me, a huge stress reliever has always been for me to go outside, listen to music, and just walk. I have been able to take a few walks here, and although the view is nothing special, it gives me time to clear my mind and think. When I used to walk back home, I'd often remember taking in the smells of freshly cut grass, trees, and the flowers. Unfortunately, it smells more like a mix of garbage and dog pee where I take my walks here, but I'm going to try to find a park nearby that will provide more of an appealing setting. Tomorrow, I will go to a zumba class though, which I'm excited for. I have a feeling that it will not be at all like I'm used to back in the states, but that's okay. Belgians aren't exactly people that work out a lot, so I'm thinking it may be easy, but even so, a little exercise is better than none. And plus, even if everyone in the class is a middle aged woman, at least I can either attempt to eavesdrop or talk to people. Humanity at last!

It's funny because little things like going to the grocery store or picking up my host brother from school have become more enjoyable than sitting at home. Usually, I'd rather relax and watch TV or whatever, but here it's different. I like being out, and because school hasn't started yet (and won't start for another week!) I don't have much to do. As someone who thrives on being busy, this is a bit difficult for me to adjust to. I literally have no chores here and I don't have my American TV (Oh, how I miss Project Runway and ANTM), so I'm thinking...now what?

I will continue to take things "slow and steady" because that's really all I can do right now. I just have to wait it out until school starts. I'm pretty sure every Belgian high school starts on September 5th. Last week, we talked to the principal of the school (after waiting 2 hours!), and he said that I didn't need to come in until the Monday the 9th because it would be too chaotic for me to register for my classes with all the other students. For the first time in my life, I'm actually looking forward to school, and I don't want to miss out on those first two days. Oh well, it's life. Plus, once school starts, I'm sure I'll be exhausted and even if I'm not hanging out with people after school at the beginning, I'll still be in a somewhat social setting during the day.

Oh, even though I had initally told my parents that I only wanted to skype around once a month (give or take), I actually skyped them on Saturday. CRAZY RIGHT? If you know me well, you know that I am generally not an emotional person at all. I didn't cry after my last high school musical, I didn't cry when I graduated, I didn't cry when my friends left for college, and I didn't cry when I left. Even when people mean a lot to me, I tend to think of the happy times we spent together rather than dwelling on the fact that we will be separated. So the idea of me missing my parents after a week and a half? Yeah right. C'mon! I've gone to camp for longer than that and my parents barely crossed my mind. You get the point. So, when they texted me on Saturday asking what time would work for the next weekend, they were probably shocked to see me suggest that we skype this weekend.

The point of that whole tangent is: Exchange really changes you. I've been gone for less than two weeks, so it's not like I'm a pro, but I seriously value my family so much more already. I guess it takes being put into a family completely different than yours to appreciate what you have back home. (And mom and dad, if you read this, don't get too sappy on me, please). But even though I do miss them,  I know that they are supporting me back at home and will be there when I return.

Alright, just gotta say, I got pretty deep today. Must've been that long walk I took :) The song I leave you with today is called "Slow and Steady" by Of Monsters and Men. They are a rad band that everyone should hear because they are that awesome. And they're also from Iceland, so that makes it even better!

 "The lights go out, I am all alone
All the trees outside are buried in the snow
I spend my night dancing with my own shadow
And it holds me and it never lets me go"

Au revoir mes amis,

Catherine